Alfa-Female

quite weeks in APS lately.. :) hihi i think i love it... NOT!... i love when i'm busy.. at the moment all that i can do is.. read read and read... and reading has become me least favorite thing.. ahahahaah call me lazy i dont care.. but reading is good!

when i started working in this office there were just 2 women engineer .. and when 1 left the company.. there's only me. i am the alfa-female.. and i am being accepted in the all-male-consultant-circle. I have my usual tea time with the boys, have my ping-pong session, futsal and all.. and this is not the first time i'm being the alfa-female.. I was the only female engineer in my department back in my old workplace too. :) i dont have problem working with the opposite-gender.. they are fine..

but I am not proud at all being alfa-female in male dominated circle.. I loss my female-relationship-skill.

ha ha... demmit.

Today.. i have another 2 women engineer working for the company, but being quite a senior (haha position dlm company structure sahaja... i'm still an engineer aka kuli-batak) i have been relocated to the 'other-side' with all the seniors.. stuck in a room.. alone. thus.. still not helping me with my women-pr problem. ahahahaha.. yes i do talked to them.. but i just do small talk.. thats all.. *sigh*

i like fashion - but my liking is not normal, I like cosmetics... i love collecting 'em but not so much in wearing 'em.... i like artist and entertainment.. but i dont go crazy about them..

i LOVE football. -period- i LOVE politic. *sigh* so this make my topic of discussion very limited.

i find many women like to curse and all.. in their daily conversation.. this too limit my circle of friends.. since i dont curse. even the word *sial - people used to end the conversation with is sound filthy to me* - how?

haha this entry is going nowhere actually.

I am just trying to figure out.. how am i going to develop interpersonal skill with my own gender.. may 2011 will bring good tries.. making friends and all.. perhaps.. ahahahah...

tapi...

i'll be an alfa-female again...

there will be a boy coming living with me n hubby-baby.

huwaaaaaaaaa

disclaimer: *alfa=alpha

who am i?

who am i?

i am a person who goes after simplicity.

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i am messy ~ tapi bukan pengotor kekeke i love being chaotic

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i am hard headed.. but not a recalcitrant..

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i am diligent

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i hardly judge people from the way they look.. their clothing, appearance, physical n such.. its plain dumb for me its too superficial... if the person is not complaining on how they dress and look why bother.. but if they were.. then i will respond accordingly :p

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i am bad tempered at times and somewhat cool at times... but usually my bad tempered and over-coolness comes at the wrong time ha ha...

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i love to read and learn new things

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i am a dreamer ~ ask my hubby.. and you know what a big dreamer i am

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i am a self-motivator ~ i can push myself back after i have fallen badly..

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i am a partner.. not a good friend...

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i am compassionate

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i am a lover - a romantic freak in plain english

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i love cats - saved cats from the drain from a restaurant from other people's house from the road... haha but too bad i could not keep em..

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i love handicraft ~ yes i dooooo

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i think i love sewing (ha ha) ~ i have been wanting to make my own baju kurung

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i like to cook but i prefer baking

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i love my husband too much

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i multitask... ~ kekekek sometimes its the main reason i let thing undone... i tend to do other thing while doing other thing.. ha ha..

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my tears are very cheap! i cried at almost everything...

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oh oh! hubby is here... continue later!

its time to leave the past and start fresh!!

its time to leave all the negativity and bad vibes behind and start fresh.. with less excuses and sluggishness...

http://www.schoolthemes.org/motivational-quotes.html

blowing kiss

love is..

sigh....

hiks hiks.. felt like blowing hubby-baby a kiss this morning..

so here goes..

muahsssss!!! *flip flip flap... kisses flying to find mr.hubby*

dream big.

:) i was raised by grandparents.. for as long as i can remember..

I have never been taught that money is everything...

but when time passes by... and school and friends came along... i started to have this ambition..

To study hard and be the best among the rest with hope that someday.. i can repay my grandparents deed.. but of course.. one cannot pay the unmeasurable price of love and care... and of course.. i need to work for living... not like any other that can turn to parents whenever they have problems.. i have none.. (at fifteen and you have never met either your mom or dad... you'll be thinking the same)

to look back into the years.. I have managed to achieved whatever i have planned so far..

went to boarding school.. (i registered myself.. went for the exam myself.. everything.. at the age of 15.. i went to the local ministry of education office etc)... then uni years... after 1 vice chancellor award and 1 scholarship to study abroad .. i managed to get myself a job.. hihi alhamdulillah... I am able to repay my *NOT my grandparents... too bad they have past away.. long before i went to uni..* mother...

and today... i wonder.. why do i have stop achieving things? i tend to slow down a bit.. and enjoying life *perhaps* my master thesis is down the drain because im too tight up with other studies... i am one year away (that is twelve months away before i can get my Ir-ship) .. sigh... I'm bored... I need challenge..

maybe a career change?

whatever it is... i refused to become ordinary.

but maybe this pause is good.. Allah has planned it all. (i have managed to reached some milestone in life..getting married! and be my hubby sort of catalyst more of a critique actually.. ngeeee! go baby!!!) .. looking forward for a good year.. 2011.. will be a good year for me Insyallah..

p/s: last month managed to get another debt settled.. yippeee... alhamdulillah.. sikit2 i'll be in my financial free world.

Love

(death always makes me reflects on my life... the sudden past of my beloved mentor really had taken a toll out of me.. )

Love is a gift from Allah s.w.t, its a feeling that nobody in this world can described... :) My marriage is just like any others in this world... hihi its not all about a walk in a park.. we struggle a lot.. fight a lot..eat a lot.... loving and missing each other.. and spending most of life together.. :)

hubby-baby is not home.. and i'm hubby- sick.. i miss him... i miss him when he is not around... and this feeling is good.. it is a sign that everything will be okay... amidst of all the hurdles that we are going to through...

for me... love is the base of any good relationship.. everything will work out from Love.

kekekek i want him to be around i dont want him to be around i want him to talk to me i dont want him to talk to me i want him to work but i dont want him to be away too long.... ahahahaha

its a love hate relationship.. but i still love it.

balik cepat bebek. I'm bored.

:( tak cukup tidur

its one of those thing that can drive me crazy... heavy discussion in the middle of the night!!! time2 nak tidur.. or even worst.. bila dah tidur.. kemudian terkejut bgn.. kemudian.. bila nak try tidur balik dilontarkan soalan2 yang mmg tak wajar nak di soal ketika mahu melabuhkan kepala...

i dont just reset everything then KROH KROH.... urgh... maybe men can.. but not me... kesudahan nyer... mata masih tercegil indah bulat dan comel... tepat jam 3 pagi... *sigh*

mmg perbuatan yang sgt tak bertimbang rasa...and now... i'm sitting in my office half awake!!! arrrrrrggghhhh... with tonnes of things to do! with only a tingle of energy left on me... *double sigh*

nasib baik mengenangkan... rasuah burger whopper tghari smlm... kalau tak mau lah .. rasa nak tarik rambut si baby... *haiyaaaakkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!* errr tu bunyik mcm nak karate.. ah whatever!!!

baru pukul 10.30 pg... and im drained.. mcm org keje angkat guni beras naik atas lori *a.k.a kelindan lori*

to baby - i do listen.. but don't you think it is very unfair to me.. at-least lets have that kind of conversation tghari buta! not mlm2 buta...

i'm sleepy n tired.

amah yang disegani..

kekeekk... i think i can be a very successful amah (maid) ... kekeke... was very proud of myself yesterday!

kekeke i bathed adik and clean the bedroom... cuci bathroom.. sampai dinding2 lantai2 sume... cuci.. *clap clap..* tapi tu je lah... ruang tamu hubby baby tolog kasik setel..

and yesterday... sebab dah kehabisan idea nak makan apa... gi giant beli marinated lamb shoulder, roti and fries... ~ tadaaaaa.... siaplah lunch cum dinner juga sebab dah pukul 4!...

lepas tu.. terus rasa pendek je hari.. tiba2 dah mlm... tiba2 dah isnin!!!! menanggis.. ah well... hari ni kena rajin and siapkan keje.. hoping for a good week ahead!

Ya Allah, thank you for your blessing and i pray this week will be a good week for me n my hubby-baby and to all our brothers and sisters. amin.

crazy wednesday!!

ok dgn berbaju kurung cotton tahun 2000 - hahahah baju masa buat diploma kat itm dulu, ngan bag laptop yang masing2 berat berkilo2 we went out for a wednesday adventure! kekekeke

first stop... dari kelmarin dah ingat kan baby... Burger King Jual Whopper pada harga singgit (oh yes!! SINGGIT that is rm 1) kekekeke rrp at rm10++ .

pergile try kat burger king shah alam.. OMG... org shah alam mmg best.. traffic jam jalan kat situ sebab sume nak drive thru aje... the que was too long.. so we decided to go BK mutiara damansara.. hihi dkt dah ngan rumah.. to our avail lagi best.. burger king terus kunci pintu!!! (crazy!! later i found out that they are handing coupons to their customer to redeem the whopper singgit) .. hiks hiks... then teru macam pasrah... terus ler ke OU sebab sana MAYBE tak ramai org.. and ada tempat makan yang lain as alternative.. sampai OU.. nasib baik the que wasnt that long! yippeee... 45 min jugak lah beratur!!! tapi takpe sebab SINGGIT! kekekekek the power of seringgit to malaysian peopleh
.

(disclaimer: no no jgn pulak sapa sapa yang terbaca blog ni nak pergi besok... tomorow dlm poster ni is refering to 6th October 2010.. which is already in the past! hiks hiks)

looking at the poster.. mcm best jer kan.. whopper mmg best.. tapi whopper smlm cuma ada pickles and some lettuce and Bawang yang tebal setebal dlm poster tu ... takde tomato2!!! kekekek anyway... whopper! masih lagi besar dan semput jugak lah nak habeskan!!! .... hear2 for Burger king next time buat lagi yer!!! ~ but i doubt baby nak join buat keje gile melayan bini dia ni lagi...

as a bonus... semlm wednesday pulak... dah alang alang.... terus tgk wayang... we were split between magika and resident evil: afterlife.. and after thorough-i-tak-nak-kecewa discussion.. we opt to watch hollywood movie instead rather than magika.. we had our bad-share of nightmare lepas tgk cicakman2... (jiwa meronta2 nak keluar dari cinema..).. so masih trauma... we opted to watch mila jovovich! hiks hiks...while waiting for our movie to start.. singgah sebentar di warung bintang kumbang untuk menikmati sedikit tazo zen tea ice shaken lemon tea.. agaknyer ituler namanye...

movie wasnt that bad... ada some part mcm tak payah nak shoot pun kot.. but all in all... citer dia still tak habis lagi! i wonder what will be the end.. oh oh.,.. and the zomba.. has evolved! eeeuuuuwwwww...mcm alien men in black je dah...

ok thats al.. waking up too tired to do anything plus all the groggyness and queasy-ness and woozy! hey.. i tod you'd gone.. sigh!!!!!


thanks baby.. i had fun!

I never fancy electronics gadget.. i wonder why..

hahahha other than playing chop-chop ninja and piyo block.. and of course updating my facebook status.. i find I-pod is a dull gadget...

simply i think my life is full of other exciting things other than having to compete with the universe with whose owning the latest gadget and what not.

i myself.. never bought a phone for literary myself. haha. of course.. i pay for a communication fix line to get a phone back in uk.. but never bought a phone for an existing line.

but a dull gadget is good for dull moment for e.g. when i always stucked in the airplane ... or stucked in the middle of baby's never ending childhood friends chatting ... (ha ha cowie baby... sometimes it can be a dull moment for me lalalala)

today i-phone 4 is in the market.. and i say many status in the facebook.. wooing for 1... hiks hiks... i wonder what will these people do.. keeping up with the technology?... or perhaps... keeping up with a trend.. ( i dont think the technology is important here... ) or maybe.. nowadays.. there are more dull people/moment around... so people need dull equipemnt to cheer up their days...

one of the closest example.. is one of baby's friend.. complains about how less attractive his blackberry as compared to an i-phone. Ha-ha... funny moment... he doesnt even subscribed to a blackberry service... one need to know that blackberry is to serve a business community... (but facebook has dominate it original purpose... blackberry is now an entertainment gadget.. for ym's and facebooking... ) - my point is.. you see what i meant : are they buying the gadgets for the technology or just want to keep up with other people?

ah well... live life to d fullest.. enjoy every little and big things that you want to do ...

i just hope one day... my children will appreciate life.. as much as i would... which is not keeping up with the trends too much... but whats more important is to live as a unique person.. who knows what she/he needs rather than copying on what other people's are doing..

trend doesn't build a character, but character can be a trend-setter!

a new obsession!!

i'm obsessing over someone.. him again??

:) trying to be COOL...

:) i was giving some advice to my so-called 14 year old niece - telling her not to dwell too much in puppy love.. hahaha actually i have no plan to give her the advice.. but last sunday.. when i was at mommie's she told me that the girl grandmother ask my mom to talk to the girl.. stop social networking in the internet... she's failing all of her paper.. aisey..

so yesterday.. when she wrote something sounded like a twenty year old woman giving up on love.. i just told her to stop panicking about love. about a boy... she is wayyy to young... enjoy the time being young.. make loads of friend.. try every thing (that is healthy) and learn as much as she can... *sigh- sometimes.. i wish to tell the youngsters.. not to waste their time in a virtual world...*

(ha-ha... im out of the youngsters leg already.. i have had my share and i have selected friends and community i want to be in)

anyway.. suddenly come this lady (her father-side relative .. ) commented.. "Cayalah ***!"...

OMG!!!! you do not support a 14 year old girl like that!! !!!! kekekek perhaps the lady (ehem.. she is also my age) nak sounded cool...

you can be cool.. but sometimes... people need to be responsible.. being cool today.. will not help her in the future.. what i'm worried... at the end of the day.. this trying to be cool people are those who will give 'teruk betul budak ni' comment without feeling guilty at all! pastu nt ckp.. tu lah ni lah budak besar takde mak..

sigh. typical soo typical. but what to do.

ladies.. stop being cool tak bertempat.. (*ahahah tapi nnt nampak cam sombong... aisey thats me.. how?* - like i care.. all i know.. this is all that i can do to help.. i will not support youngsters yang in love sampai taknak belajar.. no way!! they are somebody's children.. yang satu hari menjadi harapan mak bapak..)

i have made a lot of mistakes during my youth time.. but i try my best to learn from it.. as i said i am only human. That girl could not help not to fall in love.. and she is only human too... but at least with older people showing the right way.. she can make a good decision and experience those feeling in a better way (and not failing exams).. I hope.

life lesson

to be thankful, dream big and never give up

:) life lesson

Ibn Abbas narrated that the Prophet said: “There are four qualities, whoever is given them has truly been given the best in this world and the next. They are: a grateful heart (that is thankful to Allah), a remembering tongue (that mentions Allah often), an enduring body (to persevere through the trials), and a faithful wife.”

I am grateful for the rezq bestowed upon me..another debt settled today Alhamdulillah.. :)

lama tak keje keras cam hari ni..

hiks hiks.. shame on me.. i have been consistently slow these few months.. but of course i still manage to complete all the task that have been given to me.. :)

hiks hiks and today.. i need to complete some things before i went to perlis.. The last dreaded report and I will be free.... yeeeaaayyyyy!!!

coming back from perlis I will have ample time to do some research study. hopefully i can get my master thesis back on track.. and sending few abstract for next year conferences.. hiks hiks.. me likey2...

tapi kerja keras hari ni buat tangan saya sakit...... :(

I see your true colors..

well... i was about to write something over the weekend.. but of course.. my weekend is forever full of event!... kekeke...The weekend started of in LBJ.. joining the F-team running after a business guru.. ah well the early morning trip is well worth it.. we have gained so much.. went back.. arrived home at 4 in the morning... and missing the ENGLAND game.. urghhh....

anyway... woke up at 11.. and we made our way back to LBJ for Shamsul Izzat Fahmi majlis cukur jambul,.. what a bundle of joy he is.. :) ha-ha.. the journey is somewhat challenging since none of us remember how to get there.. ( the nite before... we followed erol and abg adi's vehicle... ) hihihi.. anyway.. good hunch and Luck save us.. hiks hiks manage to reach umah tok... exactly the opposite way we arrived yesterday.. hiks hiks...

:) in the afternoon.. we tried on some shooting skill (*uuuuu thrill thrilll.... ) first time i saw a real pump gun!!! it was between team Damansara (me, hubby , abg adi and abg pejal) against the LBJ-Team (no name to mentioned here.. team of police/army)... ha-ha.. it was fun!!! and shooting in baju kurung and tudung selendang give a new definition of me

*one-mean-killing- makcik!!! yehaaaaa* hence = i were a a sniper.. please be afraid.. be very afraid.... i could make you loose your neck.. (Note: when i was acually aiming your head) ahahahahah slow and painful die i say...

we arrived home that evening... 7-ish... manage to catch some glimpse of the World cup (boohhoooooo my sad story!!! i managed to only catch a glimpse of worldcup... because of the F-Team!!!!) .. at 9.. we received a phone call from abang adi.. asking us to get ready.. we are heading for kak kinah's and bang mie's house that nite...

I was told .. that nite we are going to do some product review.. hihi but i dont anticiapte for this to happen.. hiks hiks... i got the clarins quartet eyeshadow and the maybelline 2 way angelfit 2 way cake-face powder.. coool!!!!! hiks hiks cool sgt2 anyway...

theres more! I was given these complete AVON solutions to try on... :) hmmm and today is my first day trying this product (*hopefully.... it will not ruin my face!!!!) ahaks.. but i guess.. i never restricted myself for a product loyalty hence... no worries...

and this...

and this

.... whoa!!!! me likey2... ...

Friday=happy... err not exactly!

urrgghhh... bosanyeerrr*

ok ok... its friday.. but i just got a phone call from my boss telling that He said to our client that we'll submit a report last monday!! now... i will not be able to enjoy my weekend as much as i want it to be since i will be working editing on a report... haish!!! sgt marah di kala ini....

:p

anyway... its 2.42 in the afternoon and i am in no mood of doing any report... although my plan today is to look into some coordination and setting.. hihi...

not being able to enjoy my world cup as well.. since kena kerahan tenaga ni.. semoga semua usaha berhasil. amin.

A Letter to Malaysian Politician

Dear Malaysian Politician...

I am very disheartened by the way you people talk about money as if it means nothing. Millions of ringgit involve in jumping party? oi!! Where do you people get so much money? And what make it worst... you are talking about it with the press... and want us the people to watch in awe..... How you people DEVALUATE money!

Can you please teach me how I can make so much money… and at the same time… SPENDING ALL MY available time looking after the needs of my people (I would really love to do that)… or perhaps you have some time machine… so that you can fully utilized your 24 hours.. WORKING.. (heheheh the only legal way I know for someone to earn money) and at the same time being a so-called leader looking after your people…

Politician…. You are the MAN!!!

I look down in 20 years… and I will not be so shocked that kids will want to be a politician so that they can become millionaires.

Lastly, please do not talk about money anymore (unless you are announcing on people's project or oil rebate and you can get that money at the post office ha-ha)… when you know that your people really know how to count… we are not monkeys...Perhaps... You can demolish education... So that you can at least put a sentiment into our heads… It’s okay… POLITICIANS HAVE THE POWER to GREW MONEY ON Trees yes they do...

Yours truly

A very upset Monkey

http://www.indiantoday.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=4663:dap-may-enforce-rm-5-million-pact-over-quitting-of-elected-reps&catid=54:top-headline&Itemid=88

http://freemalaysiatoday.com/fmt-english/politics/pakatan-rakyat/6148-wan-azizah-pkr-leaders-offered-rm2-million-to-jump-ship

hansel-dee and gretel-kin!

picture taken from: http://freshideasnutritainment.wordpress.com/2009/03/

that is definitely us.. eating our hearts out!! oh gosh!!! i just cant believe how much i gain over the weekend...

this is what we became everytime we went back to kemaman... non stop eating all the way... oh well....

back to my life... :)

i have donated both munchkins last week.. both kitten are safe with their new owner...

:) and now.. i have project spring cleaning on the way...

need to do something to the home office... :p its to stuffy in there.. with too many things.. :)

i want my office to look like this.. atleast...

between being realistic and reasonable.

hmmm i am in the mood of putting my thoughts on an entry today.

what is it about being realistic and reasonable. :) i have been married for a year now. Alhamdulillah, although it is not as a fairytale would ended... indeed the fairytale has just begun. anyway, just pray for us to be healthy physically and emotionally.

anyway, something has been bothering my mind. about being realistic and reasonable.

French government is going to ban polygamy in its territory island of Mayotte, and says it is for the equality of man and woman. now, being reasonable as it is... the french government is trying very hard to picture themselves as JUST. fair. a human-rights fighter. law upholder... all in the name of reasonable..

but dont you think it is not realistic? banning on polygamy.. while men and women continue cheating on their spouses and having affairs... so who is going to fight for that? while polygamy makes everything in order... and polygamy is not about women being enslaved by the the husband needs for sex. it is about FAIRNESS, polygamy is about being FAIR to each others right. Have they gone through all the syareeah about polygamy? i dont think soo... on the surface it sounded like unjust to women... but think! just think about scandals, affairs etc etc.. perhaps... they only rely on PRe-NUPS to save the women rights.. funny.

i hope i will not get stuck in polygamy.. its not everyone wish.

but i'll certainly blame the muslim men.. :) for having mis-used the term polygamy. :) if they really knew what is installed for them if they failed to be fair to their wives... they will not even dare to commit to polygamy without proper IMAN, knowledge and preparation. nowadays, polygamy for men is about having many wives. FULLSTOP. ahahah it does not end there!! your wife is your responsibility. the offspring of polygamy is your responsibility.. and you have to handle this responsibility well or you will need to answer to God... you will be twicer or thrice-er or quadruple-er questioned more... hihi... so think before you act. can you handle the responsibility? can you give equal love to your wives? oh btw... your wife is not a robot who functions linearly... they are dynamically chaotic... so are you sure you can make them feel ok? your feeling alone does not count...

so i think muslim men out there.. you have the responsibility to make this clear to the world.. that Islam is Fair... Islam is not about prejudice.. Islam is not about oppressing womens right...

I may not be a perfect follower. but I believe in Islam. And i believe in Allah s.w.t and Allah s.w.t. Only.